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| From Black Sand Journal |
The philosophy of "I want to dedicate my life to people, but I don't have the strength to devote myself to a single person," doesn't fall at all in line with my strong affection for New York or my tendency to develop deeply personal (often emotionally dependent, and sometimes inappropriate) friendships. These inclinations aren't ideal for someone who wants to be an objective reporter in the lawless, war-torn regions of the world. News from Sri Lanka still upsets me - it is why I am writing this post - but the fuss is so far away from my Manhattan apartment. The poverty and exploitation that led me to study journalism in New York starkly juxtapose the happiness I've experienced while doing so. I don't think it is possible to reconcile the two, which leaves me with an unpleasant ultimatum.
I would like to end this haphazard post with a question to current or former non-resident Sri Lankans. How do you feel about what is going on back home when you aren't at the heart of it? By choosing not to live on the island do you feel as though you've given up on our country? Please comment and let me know what you think. It doesn't matter if I know you or not, or whether this is the first time you've stumbled upon my blog. I would really value some insight.
3 comments:
Suri, I woulnd't say that ex-pats/former residents etc. have "given up" on the country perse, but there is a sense of utter hopelessness. The ones with power are no longer the "elite" but those with weaponry and the audacity to use it for selfish gains. As you stated, Those who have the "power" do little to conceal their means that allow them to arrive at their ends. What good are we without the ability to fairly combat these monsters? The cries of pain the country makes resound through out the worlds of those who've loved her but we find ourselves powerless to end her suffering.
im back in lanka now, but i spent 5 years studying in India.. when i was there, i would here most of the news from my parents when they called, but it always sounded the same.. bomb blast, suicide bomber, army, security, politician - all these words immediately trigger the 'off' switch upstairs...
now when i look back i wonder if i WAS uncaring, but it's more likely the utter hopelessness of the situtation.. honestly, only divine intervention can save us now...
Suri, I think that journalism is the way to sort through that white nosie. To change it from a blur of sound into a human voice. Although I am not a Sri Lankan, I still don't know if empathy and happiness are at odds in writing.
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